I have been through a tough year. If I’m honest, it was more like 18 months. Deaths, surgeries, injuries, more surgeries, other various health problems plagued not just my own life, but also those of my loved ones. During that time, I knew I wasn’t “myself” but I kept blaming life circumstances. About a year into feeling just flat-out “empty”, I told my doctor, who’s known me for years, about how I was feeling. She recognized that I wasn’t depressed, but rather, dysthymic. I guess the biggest clue was that my daily life was not being disrupted by my mood – I’m sure to an outsider, it looked like nothing was wrong.
But I knew.
And if my friends knew, they were gracious enough to love me through that difficult time. God bless them!!
This is why I am dedicating this post to them:
Thank you for loving me by engaging me in conversation even though I didn’t have much to say.
Thank you for loving me by calling me even though I wasn’t calling you.
Thank you for loving me by seeking out my company when I wasn’t much fun to be around.
Thank you for loving me when I wasn’t as witty as you’ve known me to be.
Thank you for loving me for ME simply for who I am, even if I wasn’t acting like ME.
I’m on the other side of it now (since sometime in mid-June if I had to think about it). It was the kind of funk that you don’t fully realize the depth of until it’s over. I will never know if it was medicine that helped me out of it or it simply ran its course, but I am so glad I told my doctor and was able to find relief.
For a time, I felt like I was just going through the motions of life, living reclusively inside myself. During that time, it wasn’t that I thought I “didn’t need” my friends or anything, I just didn’t have the mental energy to reach out to them. Now that I am able to get back into the groove and actually LIVE, I wanted to take the time to thank them for being there for me. I am forever grateful that my friends were waiting for me when I got back to being Me.