Who hasn’t seen and/or related to that bumper sticker? I believe that you can substitute in place of the word “mean” any characteristic in another human being that you don’t like. The things I insert vary throughout the day, given my mood and my surroundings, but today I would insert the word “Conniving”.
How do you feel when your Circle of Trust is breached? When a person whom you thought you could trust violates you? After swallowing hard the sensation of being kicked in the gut, I think back to the last time I was sure that that person deserved my trust. Then I consider what has happened between us since that time. If I can’t note a discernable break, the next logical thing is to rethink my opinion of that person.
Maybe what I thought was that person acting “nice” was actually them simply “tolerating my behavior”? What if I mistook their “interest” for “concern”? Did I assume “friendship” when it was merely “common courtesy”? This thought process leads to the possiblity that the person I thought I knew and thought I could trust actually doesn’t exist. The sound conclusion is that they were merely the façade of a friend. They were the shell of a confidant. They were masquerading as an ally, when all along they were the enemy.
The so-called “friend” who stuck the knife in your back now has your blood on their hands. Oh, they might try to wash it off so no one notices, but it will still remain.
My theory is that if everyone led an authentic life and the person they present to the world is truly who they are, life would be much less complicated. If you are a Calculating Bitch, embrace it! If you are an Undermining Asshole, wear it like a badge of honor! If you are a Backstabbing Ladder-Climber who will do anything to “get ahead” in life, don’t hide it under a bushel! No! Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine!!
Be who you are! First, though, you have to *know* who you are. And that has nothing to do with how other people perceive you. A person’s knowledge of someone else is totally dependent on what is observed. Sometimes, you have to get alone and go to some deep places in yourself to determine who you really are. It’s hard but it’s worth it. So daunting a task perhaps, that I have heard more than one person tell me that they stay intentionally busy so they don’t have to get in touch with their “Inner Self”. Socrates would roll over in his grave!
When no one is listening, what are you saying? When no one is influencing you, what are you thinking? When you are alone, who are you? Do you like you? If you just met you, would you like you? Do you think the God that made you will look upon you someday and say, “Well done.”?
I am _________. Spend some time figuring out how you would fill in the blank(s). Then live it. Out loud. Each day. In every situation.